Sis, Let’s Talk About It: Suicide and Mental Health in Black Women Turning 40

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Hey sis, let’s keep it real. Turning 40 hits different, right? For a lot of us Black women, this milestone can feel like a blessing and a burden at the same time. We’re juggling careers, families, relationships, and sometimes, the weight of unspoken grief and pain. But here’s the truth: too many of us are suffering in silence, and it’s time we change that.

The Silent Struggle

Black women are often seen as the backbone of their families and communities. We’re expected to be strong, unshakable, and self-sacrificing. But that “Strong Black Woman” narrative? It’s killing us—literally. According to the CDC, suicide rates among Black women have increased over the years, especially in women aged 25-44. And the sad part? Many of us don’t feel like we can talk about it.

Mental health ain’t just for “other people.” Depression, anxiety, PTSD, and grief don’t skip over us just because we wear a cape. And if we don’t address it, it can lead to devastating consequences. The holidays can be especially tough—reminders of loved ones lost, unfulfilled expectations, and the pressure to “make it magical” for everyone else.

Grief Hits Different

Losing a parent, sibling, or close friend can leave a hole in your heart that feels impossible to fill. Many of us have experienced grief from losing loved ones too soon—whether it’s from illness, violence, or even suicide. And let’s not forget the collective grief we carry from systemic racism and generational trauma.

Grief doesn’t have a timeline, and it doesn’t take a break during the holidays. So, if you’re feeling off when the tree goes up or the family starts planning the Thanksgiving menu, know that you’re not alone. It’s okay to feel joy and sadness at the same time.

Facts Every Black Woman Should Know

  • Mental Health Stigma Is Real, but So Is Help. Therapy isn’t just for the rich. More Black therapists are out here than ever, and they get us—our culture, our struggles, our joy.
  • We Are Resilient, Not Invincible. You don’t have to carry it all, sis. Asking for help doesn’t make you weak; it makes you wise.
  • Self-Care Is Survival. Taking time for yourself isn’t selfish; it’s necessary. You can’t pour from an empty cup.
  • Our Health Is Unique. Studies show that Black women experience higher rates of hypertension, chronic stress, and sleep disorders—all of which can affect mental health.

What Can We Do?

  • Talk About It. Start small. Share with a trusted friend, write in a journal, or join a support group.
  • Seek Professional Help. Therapy and counseling work. Apps like Therapy for Black Girls and directories like Black Mental Health Alliance can connect you to a culturally competent therapist.
  • Lean Into Your Village. Call your girls, your aunties, or that one cousin who always keeps it real. We heal in the community.
  • Take Breaks During the Holidays. If it’s too much, say no. Set boundaries and protect your peace.

Resources

Final Thoughts

Sis, your life is valuable, and your mental health matters. If you’re struggling, know that it’s okay not to be okay. You deserve healing, joy, and support—not just during the holidays, but every day. Let’s break the silence, lean on each other, and take steps toward living fully because the world is better with you in it.

Now, let’s keep this conversation going. Share this with another sister who might need to hear it. Let’s lift each other up—because we’re in this together. 💜