Aight, y’all. Lemme tell you how I’m out here tryna juggle my life at 40, working from home with 3 dogs like I’m some kinda canine personal assistant. It’s wild out here in these streets—or should I say, in this living room-turned-office-turned-doggie daycare.
So boom: 4:30 AM hits and my alarm ain’t even get to do its thing ‘cause Dog #1, Biggie Smalls Alexander, already pawing at my face like, “Yo, we eating or nah?” Meanwhile, Dog #2, Lil Kim Alexandria, over there stretching like she got yoga class in 10, and Dog #3, Star Alexis, barking at the shadow of a tree. Like, bruh, can I get my life together first?
Now I’m stumbling to the kitchen, making coffee with one hand and filling food bowls with the other, tryna remember if today is Wednesday or Friday. BigPapa Alexander eats like he ain’t seen food since 1995, Lil Kim Alexandria gotta sniff her bowl like it’s a 5-star restaurant review, and Star Alexis? She’s just here for vibes.
By 8 AM, I’m on a Zoom, looking semi-professional from the waist up, but below the desk? I got on NOTHING and one Tennessee Vol croc ‘cause the other one? Yeah, Star Alexis stole it. And don’t even get me started on the barking. As soon as my trainer asks, “Billie, any updates on your monitors?” Big Papa decides this is the perfect time to let the UPS man know he’s NOT welcome.
Lunchtime rolls around, and these dogs act like they have a union meeting. BiggieSmalls needs his walk, Lil Kim wanna sunbathe, and Star Alexis? She looking at me like, “Sis, where my salmon nuggets at?” Meanwhile, I’m just tryna make a salad or bowl of noodles & 5 minutes of peace.
By 1:00 PM, I’m on my second cup of coffee, 10 emails deep, and playing referee ‘cause Big Papa got beef with Star Alexis over a toy. I’m like, “Y’all don’t pay no rent, but got the audacity to have drama in MY house?”
And when 2:30 PM hits? They all knocked out snoring, and I’m sitting here like, “Must be nice.” So yeah, life at 40 with 3 dogs and WFH is basically me running a circus. But hey, at least they love me…or at least the person who refills the food bowl. 🤷🏽♀️🐾